Have you been greeting your children nicely when they come home from school?
Have you asked how their days are when they come back from school or from a gathering or event?
Or maybe, you don't interact with them at all.
Or worse, you start to open your mouth and tell off the moment you see them!
I can still remember during the two years of upper secondary school education, I was being scolded every day for every little thing by my mother. She was retrenched and under tremendous financial pressures. The moment she stepped into the living from work, she would start to tell me off and say I had no swept the floor clean enough and I was useless. After that, she would criticise the dinner that I cooked: this was not good, that was not good, and so on. Every day.
Although it wasn't a very nice experience but it made me grow up. I didn't hate my mother. I felt it was an experience that had made me stronger. Those are definitely not very nice experience to grow up with. I was always scared and angry. So, as far as possible, my plea to you parents is to keep those negativity at a minimum.
At a boarding school where I teach Science subjects for the foreign students, the owner was a dynamic lady and she has a thirteen-year-old son who is currently studying Secondary 1. Especially now, since it's end of year examination period, the intensity and frequency of her scolding her son has increased. She would yell at her son almost after every two hours. The son became angry too and yelled back at his mother. The mother also keeps comparing other students in her boarding school to her son. Her son was inevitably unhappy about the comparisons.
I have taught her son for a few lessons. He's a nice son just that one has to be firm as he can be rather argumentative. For example, there was once my lesson with him was to take place at 4pm until 5.30pm. But he was late and when 5.30pm came, he argued that since I started lesson with him at only 4.15pm, we should end at 5.45 pm. He was also at the age vulnerable to distractions such as computer games and smartphone messaging apps. He can also be rather irresponsible for his schoolwork such as not doing any preparations and coming up with questions for clarifications during tuition lessons. But other than that, he was fine. He is a very social boy who is always mingling with other students in the boarding school.
So parents, it's really up to you. At the end of the day, please make the best long-term decision for you and your child. No parties ever lose out by being more appreciative of each other.
(If you are using a mobile phone, please switch to web version view instead of mobile version view to see the opt-in box to subscribe to my updates which will deliver to your mailbox straight. Download my book too from Amazon to read how I lived through my mother's iron hand. Or please provide me with your name and email address in the opt-in box at the side or bottom of this page to read the first chapter for free.)
Have you asked how their days are when they come back from school or from a gathering or event?
Or maybe, you don't interact with them at all.
Or worse, you start to open your mouth and tell off the moment you see them!
I can still remember during the two years of upper secondary school education, I was being scolded every day for every little thing by my mother. She was retrenched and under tremendous financial pressures. The moment she stepped into the living from work, she would start to tell me off and say I had no swept the floor clean enough and I was useless. After that, she would criticise the dinner that I cooked: this was not good, that was not good, and so on. Every day.
Although it wasn't a very nice experience but it made me grow up. I didn't hate my mother. I felt it was an experience that had made me stronger. Those are definitely not very nice experience to grow up with. I was always scared and angry. So, as far as possible, my plea to you parents is to keep those negativity at a minimum.
At a boarding school where I teach Science subjects for the foreign students, the owner was a dynamic lady and she has a thirteen-year-old son who is currently studying Secondary 1. Especially now, since it's end of year examination period, the intensity and frequency of her scolding her son has increased. She would yell at her son almost after every two hours. The son became angry too and yelled back at his mother. The mother also keeps comparing other students in her boarding school to her son. Her son was inevitably unhappy about the comparisons.
I have taught her son for a few lessons. He's a nice son just that one has to be firm as he can be rather argumentative. For example, there was once my lesson with him was to take place at 4pm until 5.30pm. But he was late and when 5.30pm came, he argued that since I started lesson with him at only 4.15pm, we should end at 5.45 pm. He was also at the age vulnerable to distractions such as computer games and smartphone messaging apps. He can also be rather irresponsible for his schoolwork such as not doing any preparations and coming up with questions for clarifications during tuition lessons. But other than that, he was fine. He is a very social boy who is always mingling with other students in the boarding school.
So parents, it's really up to you. At the end of the day, please make the best long-term decision for you and your child. No parties ever lose out by being more appreciative of each other.
(If you are using a mobile phone, please switch to web version view instead of mobile version view to see the opt-in box to subscribe to my updates which will deliver to your mailbox straight. Download my book too from Amazon to read how I lived through my mother's iron hand. Or please provide me with your name and email address in the opt-in box at the side or bottom of this page to read the first chapter for free.)
More Links:
The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar
Download the book at Amazon.
Read my review on the book, The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar
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