The Rules of Parenting - Be Consistent

When I was a kid, I would answer my mum back one day and she'd laugh and tell me she was pleased I could stand up for myself. Next day I could say the same thing and get walloped for it. And there was never any clue to which way she'd go.- Discipline Rule 33: Be consistent, The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar

This is another excerpt that I can completely relate to. I have written many such incidents in my book as well. Be sure to download it.

One incident was the dish washing incident. If I don't help my mother to wash the dishes after a meal, she would scold me and say I didn't care about the family. But when I decided to help out in washing the dishes, she would scold me again and say I was pretentious and that I was trying to 'pretend' to be nice. That hurts! Since then, I don't really care about doing anything about washing because either way I am going to be wrong. I would rather scolded by my mother for wrongdoing than being scolded for doing right too.

Another one concerned a thirty grand loan I lent to my younger sister who asked me for the loan on behalf of her husband for her husband's investment purpose. I was hesitant about this at first but I wanted to show my mother that I still cared for my younger sister even though I was still against her decision of marrying her China boyfriend. For readers who may not know the background, I am not against her marrying someone from another country. I support my sister to marry anyone who is trustworthy. So in the end, I decided to lent to her. To cut the long story short, in the end, my sister and her husband delayed paying me back by a pre-agreed deadline and I had made a big fuss out of it as I wanted to pressure them to return me as quickly as possible. My mother came into this story and reprimanded me that I was wrong to lend my sister money. I was in a quandary because if I didn't lend her, there was a possibility my mother would scold me again for not supporting my sister. Yet when I finally showed support, I was seen in the wrong again by her.

It was really hard to please my mother. It was only a few months before starting this blog that I decided I have lived enough for my mother. When I do the positive things, I will be scolded. When I go the negative things, I will get scolded too. Which instruction of my mother should I follow? Enough is enough. It's too confusing and complicated. I decided to live for myself and move away from her to stay with my grandfather. 

Have you learnt any lessons from my experience?

Hope that from my experience you see the problems of inconsistency and you will strive to be consistent in your words and deeds for your children.

(If you are using a mobile phone,  please switch to web version view instead of mobile version view to see the opt-in box to subscribe to my updates which will deliver to your mailbox straight download box for the first chapter or my book. Download my book too from Amazon to read how I lived through my mother's iron hand. Or please provide me with your name and email address in the opt-in box at the side or bottom of this page to read the first chapter for free.)

More Links:

The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar

Download the book at Amazon.

Read my review on the book, The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar