More Resources

If you need more resources to help you deal with whatever family problems you are facing now, these are the four books that I have read while writing my book:

	Tiger Babies Strike Back: How I Was Raised by a Tiger Mom but Could Not Be Turned to the Dark Side, by Kim Wong Kelter  When I read this book, I could immediately find myself in Kim's shoes. Some of the family problems that she described were also the same that I experienced and she had put those across in an elegant manner.  For example, she wrote that "... now that we're older and a little wiser, we may still never fully feel our parents' approval, get the attention we deserve, or achieve pinnacles of success good enough for their specifications...". This is something that I can truly empathise for whatever that I do, I just cannot make my mother happy. Great writing and sharing.
	The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar Very simple and easy to read. The author has different sets of rules such as Attitude Rules, Everyday Rules, Discipline Rules, Sibling Rules, Teenage Rules, Crisis Rules and Grown Up Rules. I find that this guide is very practical.  For example, in Rule 84 in Crisis Rules, the writer states that aftershock can last forever. This is so true. I can never forget how tough life was when my mother was retrenched and the household suddenly lost a steady income for two years. Terrible! Till now, this incident is still affecting the way I see job, work and money.  Another is Rule 93 in Grown Up Rules, which is about treating our children as adults, about the need to value their opinions. I felt strongly about this because my parents never thought this way. To them, I am their child, and must obey them, no matter what my age is. As a result, conflicts happen. If my parents were aware of this, perhaps we would be a more peaceful family.  This is a valuable guide to have!
	When the Labels Don’t Fit – A New Approach to Raising A Challenging Child, by Barbara Probst MSW LcSW What I like about this book is it lists down a set of characteristics that we can use to understand more about our children and ourselves as well. Some of these characteristics are: energy source, excitability and arousal level, concentration, intensity,  and regularity and predictability, tempo and duration, sensory sensitivity, perfectionism, adaptability and flexibility, social sensitivity and perceptual style. Different sets of characteristics requires you to handle each child differently.  After reading this book, I understand more about why I behave the way I am, and better understand my emotional and social needs. It's well-written and a very good read for understanding our personality.
	The Daughter Trap – Taking Care Of Mom and Dad, by Laurel Kennedy This book is about the challenges of taking care of our aged parents from the perspective of a daughter. There are practical aspects being discussed such as aging society and the various care options we can place our aged parents into.  However, most importantly, it also deals with the emotional aspects. Some daughters sacrifice their whole life (friends, marriage) just to take care of their parents. The most painful thing that I read was some took care of their parents because they felt obligated and when they did not have enough financial ability or time to take good care of their parents, they felt so guilty and could not be happy every day.  This book has prompted me to think what kind of businesses can I start to help the elderly in my country cope with their daily lives and also given me real life examples of what other countries did to take care of their elderly people.

There are other books which I have not read (due to time constraints) but I think are worth your time finding out. Here are a few: