The Rules of Parenting - Leave The Strings Off

Do you use money to control your children or thinking of using money to control them?
Do you use other means to control them too?

I moved out of my parents' house last year after a communication breakdown with them, and stayed with my grandfather. Occasionally, my grandfather gives me some allowance even though I am already 30 years old. I told him that I was working and had my own money and he would keep it for himself. But he would become angry if I refused. If I didn't accept the money today, he would pester me the next day and the day after  next and so on until he finally passed the money to me. I believed he did it because all he wanted was for me to be happy. But whenever disagreements arise, he would use this as a way for me to back down. He would say something like, "I give you money. You don't have the right to say anything."

The same kind of thinking goes for my parents. Because they have spent the time, money and effort to bring me up, they think they "own" me. I wasn't allowed to have my own life, to have my own thinking. If I need to set myself free, they told me I needed to repay them one million dollars, inclusive of interest. There was once I retaliated and I said they could kill me because my insurance policy can pay them half a million dollars if that's what they wanted. After hearing their philosophy, my understanding of my parents is that I am nothing to them but a money making machine. Frankly speaking, I still love them as my parents yet I don't find that I have the same level of respect for them as I was younger. I may not be able to raise one million but I have a lot of focus now to earn money, to redeem myself.

Do you do this kind of thing? Please stop.

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More Links:

Grown Up Rule 96: Leave The Strings Off

The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar

Download the book at Amazon.

Read my review on the book, The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar