Although I'm not an expert, my take is: keep mum at first, but at the appropriate time, reveal it to your children. This is from my own experience.
I could not recall the umpteen times my mother had berated me as I grew up. I also did not pay too much attention to how differently she treated my sister. Perhaps I didn't care then. But maybe I thought my sister was still young and so my mother had to be gentle with her.
In recent years, I found my mother was getting harsher on me while still treating my younger sister with the same gentleness. I confronted my mother a few times and all she said was that my sister was different and why I couldn't be more understanding towards my sister.
It was only one or two years ago that my mother finally told me that she cared for my sister more because she was much weaker, mentally and psychologically. But my sister was already a working adult. I just couldn't take her argument any longer.
But I'm thankful. Thankful that my mother had finally been truthful to me, even though it was a painful truth. I am grateful to her for not revealing much earlier, otherwise I might not be able to take as steadily as I could if I had been younger and less matured.
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The Rules of Parenting, by Richard Templar
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