When I was a student in junior college (in some countries you call it the high school or pre-university college), I had to study a subject called "General Paper". It was an English subject that tested us on a broad range of topics from war, politics, economics, social issues, environmental issues, relationships, to arts and culture. It was during the time when we studied about war and conflicts that I became aware about this country called Guatemala and the issue of violence among its people. However, it was just a shallow understanding then. Recently, when surfing the internet looking for information about human behaviour, I came upon another view about the Guatemalan violence and I would like to share with you because it has disturbed me and opened up my mind. I hope it opens yours too.
Before militancy took over their daily lives, the Guatemalan indigenous people have lived as close-knitted communities with strong family relationship and strong kinship with other members of their communities. They trust one another and depend on another for social and economic support. These strong ties form a firm resistance against intruders and is the foundation of their existence.
However, when the military took over the daily lives of the indigenous people, the controls that they instituted broke that all-important trust. The military came up with a civil patrol system where they picked young boys and men to serve as foot soldiers in their communities. Sounds good and harmless right?
But NO! These males were often implicated as accomplices in the violence and death of their own people when the real perpetrators were the official military. As a result, people within the same community could not trust one another and that fabric that holds them together fall apart. That is why the kind of violence that has happened in Guatemala is different from other kinds of violence. The distrust and suspicions among people have made them turn against one another so that even without much interference from the official military, the communities collapse spontaneously. What is most disheartening to learn is that widowed women and children suffered the most.
In the book "The Rules of Parenting", the author talked about the importance of being open and frank so that trust can be built between parents and children. He said that if you want your children to come to you for guidance, you have to let them trust you and you do that by being open and honest to them. I agree with him completely.
My distrust for my parents has led to the breakdown of relationship between us. If you have read my book, you would have read that after my sister was married, I found that my mother desire to keep more things to herself. When I started to question why she treated me differently from my sister's husband, she decided to avoid answer me and questioned me back about my motive. When I asked her to tell me more about the background and history of my sister's husband, she was also unwilling and said it was not for me to know. In my ebook, I also talked how how my father's lapses in what he promised made it difficult for me to trust him. I found it absurd that why we couldn't be open with one another as family members. I grew more and more distrustful of them and felt no motivation to talk to them. Eventually, this culminated in my leaving them to seek accommodation from my grandfather.
I have released a lot of my anger against my parents but I haven't yet felt ready that I could trust and depend on them again. I hope our trust will build up again. As for the Guatemalan indigenous people, there are many voluntary organisations on the ground helping them to rebuild their communities once more. I salute them for their effort and pray that their good work pay off soon.
What are your experiences? Feel free to share. Sharing is Healing!
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More Websites:
The Paradoxes of War and Its Aftermath: Mayan Widows in Rural Guatemala
http://www.culturalsurvival.org/ourpublications/csq/article/the-paradoxes-war-and-its-aftermath-mayan-widows-rural-guatemala
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