Do you feel you have been treated badly by your parents? Or by your siblings or relatives? Or worse, do you feel you have been bullied by them? How long have they treated you this way? How do you feel about it? If you still feel frustrated about them, how long has it been this way?
It is okay to feel frustrated and angry, because I have been through the same emotions like you. It wasn't always that I felt I was treated badly by my parents. In fact, my mother did a great job bringing up me and my younger sister. My mother was multi-talented: sewing, cooking, budgeting, traditional chinese medicine, grocery shopping, history, hokkien dialect, teochew dialect and many more. So I learn a lot from her.
However, in the past 7 years, I felt she had come to judge me more and more by numbers: how much allowance I gave to her, how much was the allowance relative to how much our neighbour's son was giving to his parents, how much rental my room was worth, how much products I had bought for her, such as microwave oven, television and computer, and to support my younger sister in buying her first house and her kids when she has children. All these were too much to bear. I was feeling very frustrated and angry that these were the things she was evaluating me on.
There was once I bought a set of health supplements for her to improve her cholesterol level and lower her blood pressure and blood glucose level. After a few days, it didn't work for her and she criticised that I had bought for her things that were not meant for humans but ghosts to eat.
Even a simple thing such as washing the plates has evolved to be a big issue. If I was washing the dishes, I would be scolded by my mother that I was pretentious and a hypocrite. If I was not washing, I would again be scolded that I was a selfish person that did nothing to contribute to the household. So what could I do?
I have been living miserably with these demands for a long time, and always feeling sad about life. So I began to read many self development books to improve my mindset, attend positives mindset classes. The final one was the Soul Detox class that I went to that helped me realised all the pains I had suppressed within me. I was able to let it all out and till today I am still practising the technique that I have learned in the class for letting go bad memories and emotions and inviting positive emotions to come and stay within me. I also learned about the importance of forgiving and I went to my mother to ask her for forgiveness. It was just too bad that she decided not to forgive me for eternity. I was devastated and I moved out of my parents' residence to stay with my grandfather. And life finally became better!
Many years ago, an ex-colleague of mine shared with me that she helped to support her brother's overseas education at an Australian university. She had to do all the housework while her brother did none. When her brother got married, her parents also help to support all the necessary finances. Even after marriage, her parents continued to support financially while she continued to take care of all the nitty gritty details of managing the household and receive nothing from her parents. Not that she needed their allowance, but she felt unfair about the different ways her parents treated her and her brother.
So, what are your circumstances? If you feel you have been kicked around enough, stand up for yourself and demand to know the reason why. Take charge! If you are not able to talk sense to the other party, maybe it's time for you to change your environment.
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