Living on The Expectations of Others

In primary school, I was expected by my teachers to teach my younger sister well, and ensure she did as well as me in her studies.

In my secondary school, because it was a girls' school, all students (including me of course!) were expected to be good in the working world and good in kitchen. This was enshrined in our school motto.

During application of scholarship for university studies, I was expected to showcase how unique I was yet I didn't know I needed to do that. Pretty stupid huh. Of course I did not make it.

Growing up, the government told the nation my country is a place where if you worked hard, you would do well in life.

In my family, as an elder sister, I was expected to take full responsibility for my sister: her safety, her studies, even after some of the financial obligations my sister would have to undertake after her marriage such as housing and children expenses.

After graduation from university and stepping into the corporate world, I was expected to go beyond my job scope, to be smarter and more diligent than all of my peers, so that I could climb the corporate ladder faster.

After earning an income, I was expected to pay monthly rental for my room in my parents' house, I was expected to give a stipulated a amount of allowance to each of my parents, not meeting which would result in me being labelled as unfilial.

During a heated family argument, my uncle expected me to let me be scolded by my mother; he also expected me to allow myself to be killed if my mother wanted to kill me. In other words, he expected me to have complete obedience to my mother.

I found some of these expectations were not so bad for self-development but many were unfair.

Think about your life. Are you here on earth living on your own terms or living to meet the expectations of others? If you are, STOP doing it for a moment. You really have got to re-examine your way of life. Some of the expectations of us are good for our self development but many others has not much real value. 

So choose the way to want to leave.

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Follow The Usual Path or Follow Your Dream?

This is a question as old as the universe. (Well, not that old but it's old)

Have you pursued a degree just because all the people around you expected you to take up? Like studying for medicine, law or architecture? But in the end, you found it wasn't what you wanted and you felt really empty inside you?

Or, like me, perhaps you have studied for a subject you really like but found that the work that the society has for you is not that stimulating after all? 

Then, just like me, you want to strike out on your own. You want to do something you are good at or are passionate about. You find that it is time to do so because you realise there isn't much point working all your life making the company your work for becoming richer. Maybe, like me, you want to live a more purposeful life. You want a more flexible work schedule. You want to leave a legacy behind.

If you have the aptitude, good for you, because you will most likely succeed. However, for the rest of us ordinary people, you must have been warned by your loved ones that it's too risky.  

I am going to tell you the truth. Yes, they are right. But that doesn't mean it should stop you from pursuing your passion, your dream. Although we see many businesses succeeding, the truth is that a lot more do fail. Out of 10 businesses, only 1 may eventually succeed. You have a 90 percent chance of failure, so to say.

Trust me. I've been through it. When I stopped myself from pursuing my passion and asked myself to concentrate just on my day job, I found terribly empty. When I quitted my job to pursue my passion, I found I couldn't sustain myself and had to go back to the job market to look for a job.

So what's my answer to you?

Keep your job and start a sideline pursuing your passion, until you are able to replace what you are earning at your day job with what you earn in your sideline. Follow both the conventional path and your dream at the same time. But not for too long. Always find ways to automate your business so that you can scale up your sideline without you becoming more busy. And now, you can step back more and focus even more on areas that you truly care about. For me, it has always been access to good education and healthcare for the less privileged people in the world.

What's your decision?

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Time To Define Yourself

You go through the motions of living.
You go through the busyness of life.
You work hard to climb the levels of education.
You take part in all sorts of after-school activities to make sure you are ahead of others.
You graduate from a good university.
You then work hard to climb up the ladders in the corporate world.
You then start a family and ask your children to do the same.
Your children grow up and you retire.
And you wonder what you have given your life to.

If you truly go through all of it only because you are interested in it, good for you.

But if you go through all of it to impress your parents, to get their approvals, impress your bosses and shareholders, impress your friends and relatives, what's the point?

At the end of the day, what do you really gain? What true value can you bring with you to the grave?

After working so hard, in studies and in work, I finally stopped myself in the frenzy of it. I feel so empty inside and begin searching for answers three years ago. I kept asking myself what my life is for, what is my purpose here and what can I leave behind so that my trip on earth is worthwhile?

It took me three years to figure out. But it's definitely worthwhile. I know why I jump out of bed everyday. I really and truly wants to build develop myself in the education, healthcare and entrepreneurship fields. And I'm doing step by step, one day by one day, and I know I will eventually reach there. Now this truly feels like it's me!

Now the important question is: Have you figure out who you really are and what you are here on earth for?

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