How The Japanese Raise Independent Children

There is no one perfect way to good parenting. Different countries have different ideas about raising their kids so it's up to you parents to find the most suitable mixture for your child.

Years ago, I have already had a taste of how Japanese mother raised their children. One day while I was strolling, a Japanese mother holding the hands of her two young children, one on each side of her, was walking in front of me. As I was walking, the child on the left side slipped and fell onto the ground. But the mother did not panic, unlike some Singapore or Chinese parents that I have seen. Instead, she continued to hold onto the hand of her little one firmly and mutter encouraging words to the little child. The child also did not erupt into an uncontrollable cry. Gradually the child picked himself/herself up and and they continued with their journey. I was intrigued then.

So recently, when I recently read about how Japanese mothers raise independent children in a Facebook update from my network, I was immediately attracted to it because I had a similar upbringing.

When I was six years old, my mother duplicated a bunch of house keys for me so that I learnt how to take care of my own belongings (because if I lost my keys, I would not be able to get into the house as no one would be home). She also wanted to train me to open and close the door lock myself. I also had to walk to a nearby music school by myself for piano lessons as my mother did not always have the time to fetch me there.

When I was seven years old as a first-time primary school student, except the first few days, I would go to school and come home by taking school bus. There wasn't any nanny or maid waiting for me. I had to go home myself. Wearing of school uniforms and school shoes and packing schoolbag were some examples of tasks that my mother expected me to do able to do by myself.

My mother also expected me to help out in all kinds of housework such as helping to descaling fish, frying fish, arranging tables and chairs properly, putting things back in order. 

My mother also started money management lessons with me early. Every year after receiving many red packets during Chinese New Year, she would tell my sister and me to count how much we had received and arrange a day for all three of us to go to the bank to deposit the money. She would tell us that it's for good luck because our belief was if there was money at the beginning of the year, we would prosper more throughout the year.

So I had always been independent.

In many Asian countries, parents sometimes pampered their children too much. 

For example, when I was teaching piano to prepare for my Diploma in Pianoforte, there was an eight-year-old kid who had to be fed by her mother and maid because she still could not hold a spoon properly. Her shoelaces also had to be tied by her mother or maid. Looking at this scene, I was telling myself that these days kids are so 'fortunate'.

On the local news today, I also saw mothers sending their twelve-year-old kid to school to take the national Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE). Is there a need?

Whatever it is, it is up to you parents to choose the way you want to raise your kids, depending on what kind of traits you want to cultivate in your child. If you do want to consider raising independent child, why not take a leaf out of Japanese mums?

For me, I really appreciate the kind of independence training my mother gave me. If one day in future I do have my own children, I won't hesitate to do the same!

Happy Parenting! Positive Parenting!

(If you are using a mobile phone, please switch to web version view instead of mobile version view to see the opt-in box to subscribe to my updates which will deliver to your mailbox straight. Download my book too from Amazon to read how I lived through my mother's iron hand. Or please provide me with your name and email address in the opt-in box at the side or bottom of this page to read the first chapter for free.)


More Articles:

How the Japanese raise their children
http://virtuouswomanexposed.com/2011/03/how-japanese-raise-their-children.html

Documentary looks at why Japanese parents let young kids walk to school by themselves
http://www.japantoday.com/category/lifestyle/view/documentary-looks-at-why-japanese-parents-let-young-kids-walk-to-school-by-themselves

Japan's Independent Kids - Video & Commentary
http://wonderfulrife.blogspot.sg/2015/09/japans-independent-kids-video-commentary.html

Japanese experts and expats react to parenting norms from around the world
http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/01/21/japanese-experts-and-expats-react-to-parenting-norms-from-around-the-world/

Time To Define Yourself

You go through the motions of living.
You go through the busyness of life.
You work hard to climb the levels of education.
You take part in all sorts of after-school activities to make sure you are ahead of others.
You graduate from a good university.
You then work hard to climb up the ladders in the corporate world.
You then start a family and ask your children to do the same.
Your children grow up and you retire.
And you wonder what you have given your life to.

If you truly go through all of it only because you are interested in it, good for you.

But if you go through all of it to impress your parents, to get their approvals, impress your bosses and shareholders, impress your friends and relatives, what's the point?

At the end of the day, what do you really gain? What true value can you bring with you to the grave?

After working so hard, in studies and in work, I finally stopped myself in the frenzy of it. I feel so empty inside and begin searching for answers three years ago. I kept asking myself what my life is for, what is my purpose here and what can I leave behind so that my trip on earth is worthwhile?

It took me three years to figure out. But it's definitely worthwhile. I know why I jump out of bed everyday. I really and truly wants to build develop myself in the education, healthcare and entrepreneurship fields. And I'm doing step by step, one day by one day, and I know I will eventually reach there. Now this truly feels like it's me!

Now the important question is: Have you figure out who you really are and what you are here on earth for?

(If you are using a mobile phone, please switch to web version view instead of mobile version view to see the opt-in box to subscribe to my updates which will deliver to your mailbox straight.)